1 00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:01,920 Oh, what's the latest with you and Walter? 2 00:00:02,320 --> 00:00:03,640 Nothing. It's over. 3 00:00:04,600 --> 00:00:06,720 Oh, I'm so sorry. 4 00:00:08,280 --> 00:00:13,480 Oh, but I'm sure that someday the right guy will come along and sweep you off 5 00:00:13,480 --> 00:00:14,419 your feet. 6 00:00:14,420 --> 00:00:16,540 With my luck, his broom will be busted. 7 00:00:18,300 --> 00:00:21,000 So, how are you getting along with Alejandro? 8 00:00:21,560 --> 00:00:22,820 Oh, we broke up. 9 00:00:23,880 --> 00:00:24,880 Funny. 10 00:00:25,260 --> 00:00:29,480 As dumb as Alejandro was, I still think I could have made that relationship 11 00:00:29,480 --> 00:00:30,480 work. 12 00:00:30,860 --> 00:00:33,160 If only I'd been willing to have a lobotomy. 13 00:00:34,780 --> 00:00:36,220 What are we doing wrong? 14 00:00:36,560 --> 00:00:41,420 John's got a big romance going on and Kirk's in love with that lady from 15 00:00:41,420 --> 00:00:43,880 SmokeEnders. And then there's us. 16 00:00:44,340 --> 00:00:46,780 At least we'll always have each other. 17 00:01:02,510 --> 00:01:05,630 Just talked to Michael, and he said he can't see me anymore. 18 00:01:06,090 --> 00:01:07,090 Oh, I'm sorry. 19 00:01:07,410 --> 00:01:09,930 Yeah, he's moving to Ohio on Monday. 20 00:01:10,370 --> 00:01:15,750 If it's any consolation, Mary Beth, this has happened to both Kate and me. Yes, 21 00:01:15,810 --> 00:01:18,610 and take it from us, you will get over it. 22 00:01:18,990 --> 00:01:21,950 Never. That man was the best hairdresser... 23 00:02:23,310 --> 00:02:25,810 The Dear John is filmed before a studio audience. 24 00:02:26,590 --> 00:02:28,550 Bye -bye. See you soon. 25 00:02:29,530 --> 00:02:30,530 Hey, 26 00:02:30,550 --> 00:02:33,190 thanks for giving me a ride over here, Jan. 27 00:02:36,310 --> 00:02:37,310 I'd better go. 28 00:02:37,530 --> 00:02:40,410 I left the motor running. I'm afraid it'll overheat. 29 00:02:40,810 --> 00:02:42,070 What about my motor? 30 00:02:43,430 --> 00:02:45,430 Yours I want overheated. 31 00:02:56,910 --> 00:02:59,830 What did who say? The group. What did they say about you and Molly living 32 00:02:59,830 --> 00:03:00,830 together? 33 00:03:01,790 --> 00:03:07,150 Don't give me none of your... Look, I tried to tell them, but things... Oh, 34 00:03:07,210 --> 00:03:09,570 Ralph, you're still worried they're not going to approve of you and Molly 35 00:03:09,570 --> 00:03:10,570 getting back together? 36 00:03:10,650 --> 00:03:11,750 Well, you're wrong. 37 00:03:12,130 --> 00:03:16,630 You just got to tell them. You think so? Just tell them? 38 00:03:17,030 --> 00:03:18,830 Sure. I'll help you. 39 00:03:19,090 --> 00:03:21,310 Thanks, Denise. I really appreciate your support. 40 00:03:38,570 --> 00:03:40,370 passion while you listen to a story. 41 00:03:41,110 --> 00:03:42,570 Where are you going? 42 00:03:43,010 --> 00:03:45,130 Oh, give me a break, Ralph. I already heard it. 43 00:03:47,950 --> 00:03:51,290 So, Ralph, dear, don't be shy. Tell us what this is all about. 44 00:03:53,530 --> 00:03:54,850 Okay, here goes. 45 00:03:55,310 --> 00:03:56,830 I'm gonna just tell you. 46 00:03:58,310 --> 00:04:00,790 Uh, it's all about me and Molly. 47 00:04:01,170 --> 00:04:05,590 You see, she's really a terrific girl. Ralph, I know it's difficult. 48 00:04:08,300 --> 00:04:10,800 I mean, you've got to quit trying to hold on to the past, Ralph. 49 00:04:11,020 --> 00:04:14,660 I'm not. Yes, you are. I went through the same thing with Wendy when I got 50 00:04:14,660 --> 00:04:16,680 divorced. I couldn't let go. 51 00:04:16,899 --> 00:04:20,040 But then Jan came into my life, and everything changed. 52 00:04:20,700 --> 00:04:23,380 You see, Ralph, you've got to let go. 53 00:04:23,740 --> 00:04:28,100 Yeah, but, you see... Speaking of which, I have a little announcement that I 54 00:04:28,100 --> 00:04:29,800 think may surprise a few people here. 55 00:04:30,100 --> 00:04:34,440 Well, that's what I thought I was going to do, you see. Ralph, please, do this. 56 00:04:40,880 --> 00:04:44,760 I'm going to tell Jan that I want us to date each other exclusively. 57 00:04:45,140 --> 00:04:48,820 Oh, John, that's wonderful. I mean, who would have thought that one day I would 58 00:04:48,820 --> 00:04:50,100 be going steady with my own dentist? 59 00:04:52,500 --> 00:04:53,500 That's it? 60 00:04:56,420 --> 00:04:57,420 Some announcement. 61 00:04:57,900 --> 00:05:03,440 Look, I've got something earth -shaking to say here. 62 00:05:03,900 --> 00:05:07,240 Hey, hey, hey, where's Red? I've got to talk to her right away. All right, 63 00:05:07,240 --> 00:05:10,320 what's the problem? I'm sorry it's personal. It's just between me and Kate. 64 00:05:10,580 --> 00:05:11,580 Oh, 65 00:05:12,430 --> 00:05:14,470 parking meter. Oh, perfect. Just perfect. 66 00:05:14,710 --> 00:05:15,730 Do you people mind? 67 00:05:17,430 --> 00:05:23,970 Now, what I've been trying to say is that a guy can go through life just so 68 00:05:23,970 --> 00:05:25,830 doing this little bachelor thing. 69 00:05:26,210 --> 00:05:28,510 Sooner or later... Right, there you are. Come here. I've got to talk to you. 70 00:05:28,510 --> 00:05:29,509 It's an emergency. 71 00:05:29,510 --> 00:05:31,470 Somebody lock that door. 72 00:05:32,410 --> 00:05:34,390 All funny stuff, I promise. 73 00:05:42,440 --> 00:05:45,460 Kate McCarron here. I want my mother! 74 00:05:47,940 --> 00:05:50,760 I'm Kate McCarron. I'm Jackie, Kirk's girlfriend. 75 00:05:51,220 --> 00:05:55,280 Oh, hi, Jackie! Yeah, we've all been looking forward to meeting you. Hi. Do 76 00:05:55,280 --> 00:05:58,600 think I could have a moment in private to talk about Kirk? It's something 77 00:05:58,600 --> 00:06:00,700 personal. Yes, of course, dear. 78 00:06:01,040 --> 00:06:03,260 Louise, I think she was talking to me. 79 00:06:21,900 --> 00:06:22,900 girlfriend, Jackie. 80 00:06:23,740 --> 00:06:25,620 Jackie? Oh, no. 81 00:06:25,980 --> 00:06:27,080 That's it. It's over. 82 00:06:27,380 --> 00:06:30,020 Good, good, because I've got something to say. Damn it. 83 00:06:30,600 --> 00:06:37,060 You despicable, underhanded snake. 84 00:06:39,220 --> 00:06:44,480 Just when I think you can't sink any lower, you manage to find a new bottom. 85 00:06:45,040 --> 00:06:47,840 I'm going to kill you. No, no, no, Kate, Kate, Kate, Kate. No, no, come on, come 86 00:06:47,840 --> 00:06:48,239 on, Kate. 87 00:06:48,240 --> 00:06:49,460 You're not going to kill anybody. 88 00:06:50,000 --> 00:06:51,000 You're right. 89 00:06:52,110 --> 00:06:54,790 I'm going to make him walk funny. Where are the scissors? 90 00:06:56,030 --> 00:06:58,530 There he is, Kate. Tell us what happened. 91 00:06:59,530 --> 00:07:05,830 Well, Mr. Sleaze over here told his girlfriend, Jackie, that he and I slept. 92 00:07:06,970 --> 00:07:08,570 Slept. Come on, Kate. 93 00:07:08,830 --> 00:07:09,830 Speak it out. 94 00:07:10,930 --> 00:07:11,990 Slept together. 95 00:07:12,930 --> 00:07:13,930 He's all yours. 96 00:07:15,370 --> 00:07:17,130 Come on, come on, come on. 97 00:07:17,630 --> 00:07:18,670 What, what, what? 98 00:07:19,290 --> 00:07:20,970 So I pulled a little white lie. 99 00:07:22,090 --> 00:07:23,570 Kirk, you disgust me. 100 00:07:24,190 --> 00:07:26,370 Oh, that's gratitude. 101 00:07:28,050 --> 00:07:31,070 And after I pulled her, you were fantastic. 102 00:07:32,890 --> 00:07:33,890 Okay, 103 00:07:35,330 --> 00:07:38,650 I'm sorry, Kirk, but since you involve Kate in all this, I think she has a 104 00:07:38,650 --> 00:07:43,370 to know what's going on. Okay, okay, John, but go easy. Remember, I got 105 00:07:43,370 --> 00:07:44,370 feelings. 106 00:07:48,800 --> 00:07:52,960 Before Jackie would let Kirk move in with her, she asked him to give her a 107 00:07:52,960 --> 00:07:55,600 of all the women he'd slept with in the past three months. 108 00:07:55,860 --> 00:07:58,660 Well, seeing as this is the 90s, that sounds very sensible. 109 00:07:58,980 --> 00:08:03,400 Yes, but in the past three months... How can I put this tactfully? 110 00:08:03,820 --> 00:08:09,820 Kirk has been on a, uh... sort of a... sexual sabbatical. 111 00:08:13,220 --> 00:08:14,680 Sexual sabbatical? 112 00:08:15,220 --> 00:08:16,520 He's not getting any. 113 00:08:23,820 --> 00:08:29,160 put you on the list. He wants to, um... He wanted to protect his male ego. 114 00:08:30,380 --> 00:08:35,000 Well, his stupid male ego is still intact. 115 00:08:35,960 --> 00:08:39,760 I didn't want to break Jackie's heart by telling her you're nothing but a liar, 116 00:08:39,799 --> 00:08:42,140 so I played along. 117 00:08:45,460 --> 00:08:47,000 All right, Red! 118 00:08:47,220 --> 00:08:48,280 Thank you! 119 00:08:49,120 --> 00:08:50,120 Thank you. 120 00:08:50,580 --> 00:08:51,580 And don't worry. 121 00:08:52,940 --> 00:08:58,000 People hear you slap with me, at least they'll finally think you have a life. 122 00:09:00,760 --> 00:09:06,800 I think it might be best if we got off this distasteful subject and moved on to 123 00:09:06,800 --> 00:09:09,000 something in a lighter vein. Yes, yes, yes, of course. 124 00:09:09,300 --> 00:09:12,700 Ralph! Ralph! You said you had something you wanted to tell us about you and 125 00:09:12,700 --> 00:09:19,620 Mom. Please, Ralph, come on, tell us. Not if you ripped 126 00:09:19,620 --> 00:09:21,860 out my tongue and beat me over the head. 127 00:09:38,480 --> 00:09:39,540 Hey. Hi. 128 00:09:41,980 --> 00:09:46,800 I gotta tell you, you giving up cigarettes has really made a difference. 129 00:09:47,280 --> 00:09:48,520 Why? Do I look better? 130 00:09:48,760 --> 00:09:52,740 No. When I was down in the lobby, I couldn't hear you coughing. 131 00:09:56,420 --> 00:10:02,200 I cleared out a closet for you in the bedroom. 132 00:10:03,860 --> 00:10:04,860 All right! 133 00:10:05,040 --> 00:10:06,740 We're gonna be roomies! 134 00:10:10,700 --> 00:10:14,800 I want you. I want you more. I want you more than that. Please, let's not fight. 135 00:10:17,260 --> 00:10:20,420 I can't tell you how tough these past three weeks have been on me. 136 00:10:20,680 --> 00:10:21,680 What about me? 137 00:10:21,800 --> 00:10:25,400 I got a sex drive that can go from zero to 50 in four seconds. 138 00:10:26,920 --> 00:10:29,380 And what do you say we put the pedal to the metal? 139 00:10:34,080 --> 00:10:37,080 You know why I'm so crazy about you? 140 00:10:37,550 --> 00:10:41,070 The most important thing to any woman when she's with a guy is honesty. 141 00:10:41,510 --> 00:10:43,130 And that's what you gave me. 142 00:10:43,610 --> 00:10:47,070 Nothing turns me on more than honesty. 143 00:10:48,390 --> 00:10:52,830 Then get ready to be turned on more than you've ever been turned on before in 144 00:10:52,830 --> 00:10:53,549 your life. 145 00:10:53,550 --> 00:10:57,850 I'm ready. I am about to be so honest it scares me. Yes, yes. 146 00:11:01,010 --> 00:11:02,350 I didn't sleep with Kate. 147 00:11:04,070 --> 00:11:05,370 I didn't sleep with anyone. 148 00:11:06,440 --> 00:11:07,440 I lied to you. 149 00:11:08,940 --> 00:11:09,940 Honest. 150 00:11:13,120 --> 00:11:14,120 What? What? 151 00:11:14,660 --> 00:11:16,160 What? What? 152 00:11:17,380 --> 00:11:18,880 You lied to me? 153 00:11:19,240 --> 00:11:20,880 Yeah, but I understand. 154 00:11:21,500 --> 00:11:23,500 This honesty stuff is new to me. 155 00:11:23,940 --> 00:11:26,940 Wait a minute. Let me get this straight. I want to understand this perfectly. 156 00:11:27,280 --> 00:11:32,840 You mean, after all the sparks that were bouncing off me to you and you to me... 157 00:11:33,180 --> 00:11:38,420 After all the energy and love that was going on between us, you had so little 158 00:11:38,420 --> 00:11:43,880 faith in me, thought I was so shallow, narrow -minded, and insincere, that you 159 00:11:43,880 --> 00:11:47,580 were afraid if you told me the truth that I'd kick you out of my life? Yes! 160 00:11:48,500 --> 00:11:51,080 Yes, that is how I make it in! 161 00:12:06,540 --> 00:12:07,540 get my own closet. 162 00:12:33,220 --> 00:12:37,200 To feast your eyes on a big surprise, just tell your toes to follow each rose. 163 00:12:38,580 --> 00:12:39,700 And I'm not published. 164 00:12:42,620 --> 00:12:43,620 Oh, dear. 165 00:12:48,080 --> 00:12:49,080 Yes, hello. 166 00:12:49,380 --> 00:12:52,900 Ralph, Ralph, I can't talk right now. Jan is on her way over here, and I got a 167 00:12:52,900 --> 00:12:54,400 little surprise planned for her. 168 00:12:54,900 --> 00:12:57,100 Okay, okay, okay. What about you and Molly? 169 00:12:57,520 --> 00:12:59,480 Oh, there's the elevator. Look, I'm sorry, Ralph. 170 00:13:00,010 --> 00:13:03,090 I'm sorry. Look, if you want to talk about Molly, the best place to do it is 171 00:13:03,090 --> 00:13:04,090 one -to -one club. 172 00:13:12,850 --> 00:13:13,850 Oh, 173 00:13:20,770 --> 00:13:22,510 bad time for next wife to show up, huh? 174 00:13:29,870 --> 00:13:30,870 You pay the price. 175 00:13:31,750 --> 00:13:32,830 You expecting someone? 176 00:13:33,210 --> 00:13:35,950 No, I was trying to seduce myself, so I sent me roses. 177 00:13:36,870 --> 00:13:37,950 What the hell are you doing here? 178 00:13:38,250 --> 00:13:41,550 I just had to come over and tell you the big news in person. Tell me what? 179 00:13:41,810 --> 00:13:45,270 What was so important that you couldn't torture me with it over the phone? 180 00:13:46,130 --> 00:13:47,130 What, what, what? 181 00:13:47,510 --> 00:13:50,070 John, we're going to have a baby. 182 00:13:50,510 --> 00:13:52,270 No, we're not. Get off the bed, Wendy. 183 00:13:52,950 --> 00:13:53,950 Yes, we are. 184 00:13:54,490 --> 00:13:56,370 John, I'm pregnant with your child. 185 00:13:56,730 --> 00:13:57,730 What? 186 00:13:58,540 --> 00:14:02,660 Oh, this is great. Oh, this is just great. This is just perfect. John, 187 00:14:03,340 --> 00:14:07,800 I wanted a baby and you made it possible. I don't want anything from 188 00:14:07,800 --> 00:14:09,340 wanted to come over and thank you. 189 00:14:11,060 --> 00:14:15,560 Did I come at a bad time? 190 00:14:15,780 --> 00:14:18,380 Oh, God, no. No, no, no, no, no. 191 00:14:19,840 --> 00:14:21,420 Jan, this is Wendy. 192 00:14:21,980 --> 00:14:23,120 Wendy, Jan. 193 00:14:23,600 --> 00:14:25,300 Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to take a shower. 194 00:14:28,350 --> 00:14:31,290 Sorry. I can imagine what this must look like. 195 00:14:31,730 --> 00:14:34,050 You must be John's girlfriend, the dentist, right? 196 00:14:34,430 --> 00:14:36,030 And you must be his ex -wife. 197 00:14:36,710 --> 00:14:38,070 The ex -wife, right? 198 00:14:39,490 --> 00:14:43,530 It's nice to finally meet you, Jan. Look, I can imagine what must be going 199 00:14:43,530 --> 00:14:47,210 through your mind. You know, finding John and me in the bedroom together, in 200 00:14:47,210 --> 00:14:50,290 each other's arms. But really, there's nothing going on between us. 201 00:14:51,210 --> 00:14:53,310 I just came over to tell him we're going to have a baby. 202 00:14:54,350 --> 00:14:55,350 Well, good night. 203 00:14:55,370 --> 00:14:57,050 Sorry, John. I'm really sorry. 204 00:15:10,990 --> 00:15:11,990 Well, John? 205 00:15:12,630 --> 00:15:13,830 I'm thinking, I'm thinking. 206 00:15:14,810 --> 00:15:19,410 No, no, no, wait. Jan, Jan, there's a perfectly simple explanation for all of 207 00:15:19,410 --> 00:15:20,410 this. 208 00:15:21,630 --> 00:15:22,690 It's not really that simple. 209 00:15:23,890 --> 00:15:25,750 In fact, it's kind of tricky. 210 00:15:26,730 --> 00:15:28,530 It doesn't really roll off the tongue that easily. 211 00:15:29,490 --> 00:15:32,090 Goodbye, John. No, no, no, Jan, Jan, wait, wait a minute. 212 00:15:32,490 --> 00:15:35,970 Please, wait. Jan, you did not see what you think you saw. 213 00:15:36,550 --> 00:15:39,230 Wendy had me pinned to the wall in the bedroom because she was excited. 214 00:15:40,140 --> 00:15:44,380 Well, not that kind of excited. I mean, it was just a friendly hug. 215 00:15:45,900 --> 00:15:46,900 All right, John. 216 00:15:47,140 --> 00:15:48,160 I can buy that. 217 00:15:49,000 --> 00:15:51,300 Now, what about the part where she's having your baby? 218 00:15:51,640 --> 00:15:54,780 Well, that's where it gets a little tricky. 219 00:15:56,000 --> 00:15:57,180 Please, sit down. 220 00:16:01,420 --> 00:16:03,600 Um... Yeah. 221 00:16:05,440 --> 00:16:09,020 Look, um... Wendy called me up a couple of months ago. 222 00:16:10,190 --> 00:16:16,330 Her biological clock was ticking, and she asked me to... To come over and wind 223 00:16:16,330 --> 00:16:17,109 it up? 224 00:16:17,110 --> 00:16:21,690 No, no, no. She asked me to contribute to a sperm bank. 225 00:16:22,190 --> 00:16:26,130 See, she wanted to have my baby by artificial insemination, and no strings 226 00:16:26,130 --> 00:16:27,970 attached, so I did. 227 00:16:29,450 --> 00:16:30,990 Oh, so that's what happened. 228 00:16:31,250 --> 00:16:32,250 Yes. 229 00:16:33,050 --> 00:16:34,050 No. 230 00:16:36,140 --> 00:16:39,320 Look, I didn't feel right about it. I just didn't think the whole thing was 231 00:16:39,320 --> 00:16:44,040 right. So I went back to the sperm bank to reclaim my sperm. And actually, I 232 00:16:44,040 --> 00:16:46,280 broke into the place and I got arrested. 233 00:16:47,900 --> 00:16:50,920 So this is the tricky part. 234 00:16:51,180 --> 00:16:53,420 No, but hang in there. We're closing in on it. 235 00:16:54,900 --> 00:16:58,780 Anyway, they call Wendy. She comes down and she says she wants to talk to me 236 00:16:58,780 --> 00:17:01,740 alone. Well, I'm in handcuffs. 237 00:17:02,660 --> 00:17:03,660 She's not. 238 00:17:04,680 --> 00:17:09,020 She pushes me into an empty room. Now, pay attention, Jan. This is the tricky 239 00:17:09,020 --> 00:17:10,020 part. 240 00:17:12,020 --> 00:17:16,579 Wendy... took advantage of me. 241 00:17:17,619 --> 00:17:20,400 And that's how she got pregnant. 242 00:17:22,720 --> 00:17:25,079 So, how did you like the roses? 243 00:17:27,440 --> 00:17:28,440 Goodbye, John. 244 00:17:28,460 --> 00:17:30,640 No, no, no. Wait, wait, wait. Jan, please. 245 00:17:32,430 --> 00:17:34,010 I'm no longer in love with Wendy. 246 00:17:34,930 --> 00:17:38,170 I was going to spend the whole night telling you how much I adore you. 247 00:17:38,910 --> 00:17:43,110 I mean, I was even going to tell you that I didn't want us to see anybody 248 00:17:43,950 --> 00:17:46,510 John, I can't be with you when another woman's having your baby. 249 00:17:46,990 --> 00:17:50,390 But, Jan, I really care about you. 250 00:17:52,150 --> 00:17:56,390 I care about you too, John. 251 00:17:59,070 --> 00:18:00,530 But this just cannot work. 252 00:18:04,190 --> 00:18:06,030 Jan, at least take the roses. 253 00:18:06,870 --> 00:18:07,870 No, thank you. 254 00:18:08,230 --> 00:18:09,230 Goodbye, John. 255 00:18:10,810 --> 00:18:13,670 By the way, get yourself another dentist. 256 00:18:18,470 --> 00:18:19,010 I 257 00:18:19,010 --> 00:18:26,430 wonder, 258 00:18:26,730 --> 00:18:29,950 are women really worth all that trouble? 259 00:18:34,860 --> 00:18:39,260 Yeah. You're damned if you do and you're damned if you don't. Mint. 260 00:18:39,500 --> 00:18:41,220 Yeah. You're the same. 261 00:18:41,500 --> 00:18:44,320 I don't know why we put ourselves through all this aggravation. 262 00:18:44,760 --> 00:18:48,800 I say we take a vow and give them up for good. Well, let's not be impulsive. 263 00:18:50,540 --> 00:18:51,640 Men don't like that. 264 00:18:56,860 --> 00:19:00,580 And let me tell you something, big guy. I don't have to take this from you 265 00:19:00,580 --> 00:19:02,460 anymore. What's wrong, Mr. 266 00:19:04,040 --> 00:19:06,960 Tom hasn't spoken to me since we went dancing last week. 267 00:19:08,120 --> 00:19:12,640 I still think any band who can't play Stardust deserves to be mooned. 268 00:19:38,570 --> 00:19:40,030 You should be happy for us. 269 00:19:40,690 --> 00:19:45,990 I'm sorry, Molly, but you have to understand, it's not easy for me to be 270 00:19:45,990 --> 00:19:46,990 tonight. 271 00:19:47,490 --> 00:19:49,290 Jan and I just broke up. 272 00:19:49,710 --> 00:19:51,810 So did Jackie and me. 273 00:19:52,050 --> 00:19:53,910 You can put Walter and me on the list. 274 00:19:55,290 --> 00:19:57,890 While you're at it, throw in me and Alejandro. 275 00:19:58,730 --> 00:20:00,410 Tom and I are split, Bill. 276 00:20:05,130 --> 00:20:06,130 Mary Beth? 277 00:20:06,510 --> 00:20:07,970 Be serious, Ralph. 278 00:20:08,480 --> 00:20:10,840 If I were in love, would my hair look like this? 279 00:20:12,000 --> 00:20:14,620 I'm sorry, guys. I didn't know you all got dumped. 280 00:20:14,940 --> 00:20:21,420 Yeah, we didn't mean to gloat. Look, um, if it's any consolation, we're not all 281 00:20:21,420 --> 00:20:22,420 that happy. 282 00:20:24,840 --> 00:20:25,880 Are we, sweetheart? 283 00:20:26,440 --> 00:20:27,440 Heck no. 284 00:20:28,260 --> 00:20:30,740 He drives me crazy sometimes. 285 00:20:31,200 --> 00:20:35,320 Yeah, and sometimes this little gal drives me up the wall. 286 00:20:37,040 --> 00:20:40,340 likes to eat his alphabet soup in alphabetical order. 287 00:20:42,340 --> 00:20:47,040 Sorry, dear, but at least I don't put my jelly knife in the peanut butter. 288 00:20:47,960 --> 00:20:51,640 Well, I'm not the one who gets up in the middle of the night to clip my stupid 289 00:20:51,640 --> 00:20:52,640 toenails. 290 00:20:53,180 --> 00:20:56,640 How am I supposed to sleep with those suckers ricocheting off the ceiling? 291 00:20:58,500 --> 00:21:03,100 Look, uh, maybe we should discuss this at home. Oh, maybe we should. 292 00:21:08,490 --> 00:21:11,910 This was just a little trick we played on you to make you feel better. 293 00:21:13,050 --> 00:21:14,870 Hey, Molly, wait up. 294 00:21:16,190 --> 00:21:17,610 Please don't leave me! 295 00:21:25,110 --> 00:21:26,470 Hi, I'm Kevin Bacon. 296 00:21:26,710 --> 00:21:29,530 Valentine's Day is just around the corner, so cuddle up with your loved one 297 00:21:29,530 --> 00:21:33,310 someone else's loved one and watch me host Saturday Night Live with In Excess. 298 00:21:33,690 --> 00:21:36,390 How do some Brazilian merchants deal with street kids? 299 00:21:36,960 --> 00:21:37,960 They have them killed. 300 00:21:38,400 --> 00:21:42,760 I'm Tom Brokaw. We'll go inside Brazil's ring of death squads on expose Sunday. 301 00:22:07,400 --> 00:22:08,700 Beth. Hi there, Beth. 302 00:22:08,900 --> 00:22:11,220 Hey. Are you all right? 303 00:22:11,780 --> 00:22:15,500 I guess. I was just thinking about this morning. 304 00:22:17,020 --> 00:22:18,020 What happened? 305 00:22:18,720 --> 00:22:22,040 I came out of my apartment building, and there he was. 306 00:22:22,580 --> 00:22:27,340 This poor, lonely, despondent soul lying on the sidewalk in front of my 307 00:22:27,340 --> 00:22:28,340 building. 308 00:22:28,960 --> 00:22:30,880 I can't help but feel guilty. 309 00:22:31,180 --> 00:22:33,800 Oh, yes. It's a very painful sight. 310 00:22:34,320 --> 00:22:36,260 This city can be so cruel. 311 00:22:37,020 --> 00:22:39,700 He looked up at me with those sad, pleading eyes. 312 00:22:40,800 --> 00:22:43,980 I was afraid he was going to freeze to death dressed in nothing but that 313 00:22:43,980 --> 00:22:45,140 lightweight tuxedo. 314 00:22:46,820 --> 00:22:48,260 I beg your pardon? 315 00:22:48,940 --> 00:22:51,400 Well, that's what he was wearing when he took me out last night. 316 00:22:53,840 --> 00:22:57,680 Why don't men understand when they take you home that no means no?